yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
