So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
