I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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