How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
