booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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