When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
