They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
