I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
