Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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