See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
