I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
