she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
