i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
