Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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