peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
