people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
