Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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