Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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