If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
