i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He kissed a someone with a penis
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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