you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
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Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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