Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
