Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
