I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
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I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm always down for nudity.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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