shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
do nipples grow back?
Randomize