that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize