Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
