oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I love you.
Bad choice
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