I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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