Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
