I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
