so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
