I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
