i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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