just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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