And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We need to get me chipped asap
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
