They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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