i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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