Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
