You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize