so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
