Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
