the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
