That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
