you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
