so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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