therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Randomize
