Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
