I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
