i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
