so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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