He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Someone shattered a urinal.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
