I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
