This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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