You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm both gender and math confused
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
