We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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