You're my little dorito
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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