I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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