; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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