Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
